Never date a guy who……you refer to as Carlos Danger in your phone


If you have not heard of Carlos Danger; his real name is Anthony Weiner, the former New York Congressman and husband of Huma Abedin. He probably is better known for creating a fake profile on Twitter and using the alias Carlos Danger to send explicit pictures to a young woman that was not his wife.  I remember when the story broke; I had to laugh at the name Carlos Danger. Only a perverted creep would use a name like that…hence why I named this guy that in my phone.

Oscar didn’t start off with that nickname, he had to earn it. And earn it, he did so well. It all started when my good friend showed him a picture of me when I was vacationing in Colombia. My friend gave Oscar my phone number and he soon started to text me.  Oscar is good friends with my friend from high school. They do a lot of business together and socialize on a personal level. Oscar happens to be the owner of a hotel chain throughout Mexico, but his primary residence is in Puerto Vallarta. We started messaging each other here and there and that lasted about a week. It didn’t take him long to feel comfortable enough to start messaging me a play by play of his travels. He would be at a conference or awards ceremony and he felt compelled to let me know.  He also had to send pictures of him at every event. I didn’t ask for this information, nor did I care.  It was definitely too much too soon, but I was trying to be open to adventure at the same time. He kept asking me to fly down to Puerto Vallarta to meet in person and to get know each other. I had a three day weekend coming up, and what doesn’t sound better than to go to Puerto Vallarta for the weekend? He would set me up with my own room at his hotel and all the spa treatments I desired.  I made it crystal clear that there were not going to be “expectations” placed on the weekend. I was strictly going to go out on a couple of dates with him to get to know him and have a little fun in Mexico.  So he booked the flight and I was going to see him in a couple weeks.

Then he happened to be in Dallas for the big Sunday night Dallas Cowboys game the weekend right before I was going to Mexico to see him. He asked me to fly out for the game. He was going to be in a corporate suite watching the game and it was on offer I could not refuse. My only stipulation was that I needed to be on the first flight home on Monday morning so I could go to work. He said, “No problem.”  I decided to go Saturday afternoon and I was on the first flight out Sunday morning. It literally was on a whim and with some coercion from my best friend yelling at me to go. He booked me a night at the Four Seasons Hotel in Dallas. I could not believe the royal treatment this guy was giving me. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!

He met me at the hotel lobby; he greeted me with a big smile and martini.  We went to the bar and drank a couple more martinis and snacked on some appetizers before we had to go off to the game.  I finally went to my room and got ready to go to my first game at  AT&T Stadium.  I had to put some effort into this outfit. I hear that it is quite the scene at this stadium. I could not just show up in my normal tank top, shorts and flip flops. I had to step it up a bit. I decided to wear nice pair of blue jeans, a tight little sweater and heels. The car he ordered was waiting for us at the entrance so I had to hurry up and powder my nose and throw on clothes. As we were about ready to walk out of the hotel to meet the driver, we stopped off at the bar to grab a drink for the ride to the game.   He ordered each of us a double Macallan 25, I was highly impressed. I have never tasted such smooth scotch in my life. He made sure to tell me as we walked away from the bar that the drinks cost him $700! I almost fell over after he told me; at that price I was going to lick every single drop out of that glass.

We got into the car and headed to the stadium; I was feeling no pain at this point.  We were laughing and having a good time. But if you had consumed as much alcohol as I just had, the only thing you would be doing is having a good time. I was in Dallas, going to a Sunday night game at one the nicest stadiums in the NFL and I just consumed $350 worth of alcohol. We entered the state of the art stadium, and this looked more like a night club than a sports complex. The marble floors were gorgeous and every wall seemed to have a HDTV on it. We headed to one of the corporate suites; we walked in and had our own personal bartender and as much food as you wanted. The game started and I was so excited to be there that I didn’t pay too much attention to the game. I was too busy on my phone bragging to all of my girlfriends about my night. I was getting way too drunk at this point.  It was too early in the evening that I had to go to the bathroom and make myself throw up so I could drink more and continue the evening. After I started to sober up, the news just broke that Arnold Palmer had passed away. I turned to Oscar and we just looked at each other and said at the same time, “Let’s drink a John Daly!!!” Arnold Palmer has his own drink, made with half lemonade and half iced tea. John Daly another golfer, highly known for being a heavy drinker has his own drink as well. His drink is an Arnold Palmer with vodka.  And the party continued…

We left the game before it ended; honestly I could not tell you who won, I had no clue and didn’t care. I was so wasted and needed to go back to the room and pass out so I could turn around and board a plane first thing in the morning. On the way back to the hotel, Oscar wanted to get some blow from his guy and asked me if I minded. I didn’t care; I just wanted to go to bed since I had to get up at 4:00 in the morning. After all, he was paying for everything so I didn’t want to bitch about it. As long as I could get a couple hours of sleep it wasn’t a big deal to me.

He and I got back to MY room; he had his night cap of blow and I took my Prince Ambien and chased it with a nice glass of red wine. I thought he was going to leave because he had a room at a hotel across town.  I thought my night was going to end that easy, but that never happens. I laid in bed and as my ambien was trying to work its magic, Oscar turned into a perverted version of Chatty Cathy.  This guy turned into a pervert on overdrive. He wasn’t trying to touch me or make any moves on me; he just started spewing all of the things that he likes to do sexually. From watching people having sex, to having people watch him have sex, threesomes, anal, and everything in between. I was half asleep listening to this and told him straight out, “I am not into those things, I have never done those things and I don’t have any intention of ever doing those things!”  He didn’t shut up; he just kept on talking all night long! I thought there must have been a hidden camera in the room and this was a big joke on me. With the crazy stuff that was coming out of his mouth, surely there had to be a camera trying to capture the look on my face.  I think I got an hour or two of sleep; I’m not even sure because Chatty Cathy kept talking.

My wakeup call came at 4:00 am sharp and I felt like complete ass. I slowly got out of bed and grabbed my things and a beer and headed to the bathroom to get ready for my long day. I thought that having a beer would help my hangover as my head was pounding from the night before. As I walked into the bathroom to take a shower, I asked Oscar to turn on Fox News.  After my shower I needed to grab something from my suitcase that was outside in the room. I walk out and look up at the TV and what did I see??? I saw a very nice lady sucking a guy’s dick on the screen, I looked up at him as he was standing there and I yelled, “That’s not Megyn Kelly! Can you turn on the news?” And I walked back into the bathroom. I quickly got ready and packed up my things. I hightailed it out of the room as fast as I could.  I grabbed a taxi and went to the airport to catch my flight.

My fabulous/nightmare of an evening had ended and I was flying home to my normal life. As soon as I landed, my friend who had set us up called and asked how the evening went. I didn’t hold back and told him all of the gory details. My friend is like my big brother and he was pissed that Oscar did that. He called Oscar and went off on him. Needless to say shortly after that phone conversation; I get a, “I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that, this is not who I am, blah, blah, blah…” text message. I basically threw it back in his face. And I took a couple swipes at him too. How could I not? He knew he was in the wrong, so I over did it in my response. I didn’t care because I knew he felt bad, I wanted to kick the horse when it was down.  I had my trip to Puerto Vallarta coming up and with everything that just happened; I didn’t really want to go…

He knew things were strained between us after his repulsive actions and he did what every coward does… he texted me a couple days before my flight and cancelled. He blamed it on personal issues that just came up that he had to deal with right away. He promised he would make it up to me at some point. I went off on him, letting him know that if he was going to flake, he should have been man enough to pick up the phone and call me. He should not have been a weasel and taken the easy way out and sent a stupid message. He agreed, but of course it didn’t change anything. I didn’t care, I just wanted him to feel bad and embarrassed for his actions. It must have worked, because a couple weeks after the dust had blown over he was inviting me to go down to Puerto Vallarta again…

To be continued


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