Never date the guy who……gives you their resume on the first date


Have you ever gone out with a guy for the first time and all they do talk about themselves? They are basically giving you their resume on the first date. I would have to say this title represents several men that I have gone out with, not just one. But one particular man I went out with stuck out to me; his name was Brian.  When you show up for the first date, you are excited about meeting someone new and getting to know them. When I showed up to have dinner with Brian to listen to him, I mean, get to know him. I was looking forward to this date; Brian was about ten years older than me, never married and no kids! Usually the guys that I meet at this point are divorced with a couple of kids. It’s rare to meet a man who doesn’t have baggage, and that was very attractive about Brian.

Brian took me to a very nice steakhouse in our neighborhood. We walked in and walked right up to the bar. Brian is a local patron of this place and knew the bartender very well. I ordered a martini and he had a glass of wine and that’s when diarrhea of the mouth started… At first I thought he was being nice when he started to talk about himself; because sharing is caring, right? He first started to tell me that he was born and raised in Wisconsin. He is a huge Green Bay Packers and Badgers fan by the way. He then went on to tell me about how he used to own a paychecks company and had just recently sold it and is now enjoying retirement. Then he went on to tell me about all the vacations he had planned that summer; along with telling me about his second home in Maui… Brian was very interesting and seemed like a busy individual.

At one point I would interject a couple of tidbits about my life and share the things that interested me. Then the conversation would quickly shift back to him;  to talk about how amazing Maui is, how much fun he has there, all of the sun he gets when he is there and all of the family and friends that fly out to visit him while he is there.  At this point I was hearing what he was saying, but I cared more about what I was going to eat for dinner. I would just respond with an occasional, “Wow” or “You don’t say?” And my personal favorite, “That’s awesome!” He didn’t have a clue that I was bored and didn’t really care about what he was saying. I just sat there and smiled and kept ordering martinis.

Our dinner finally arrived and since we were too busy eating, Brian could not continue his conversation about himself. Shortly after dinner; Brian got the check and we left the restaurant. He walked me back to my building and gave me an innocent kiss on the lips goodnight. I said thank you and went on my merry way. I saw Brian only once more after our first date. We spent the day together at one of the Hotel pools working on our tan and ate lunch poolside. It was a nice relaxing afternoon with pleasant conversation about him and his life.  When the bill came he said he would pay me back because he didn’t want break one of his hundred dollar bills. Of course he never paid me and we never spent time together again.  I see him around every once in a while and we say hi and are friendly. It is funny though, the times he does blatantly ignore me is when he is on a date. Not sure why he acts like that, because I couldn’t care less…

About a year later my girlfriend went out on a date with a new guy she met on one of those Millionaire Dating websites. She met him for lunch and as the date progressed he talked about himself , his condo in Maui, how he recently retired , sold his old company, how much golf he likes to play and all of his future travel plans. He spent most of the date talking about himself, my girlfriend said. Then he mentioned what building he lived in, my girlfriend said, “I know a couple of people that live there, do you know my girlfriend Andrea?” Brian acknowledged that he knew me, but failed to let her know that we had gone out on a couple of dates. When my girlfriend called she could not wait to tell me the story about her date.

I asked her; do you know about his condo in Maui? Do you know that he is retired and sold his old company? Did he talk about all his travels? She said yes to all of my questions. We laughed about it. I could have taped my conversation with Brian on my date and my girlfriend could have just played it during hers. He basically told her the exact same things that he told me. Does he memorize a script for every woman he goes out with? He must think that all women care about his life as much as he does. Needless to say my girlfriend never went out with him again; I think she wasn’t impressed with his resume. She was probably bored listening to him talk about himself.

Last time I ran into Brian; he was at the pool sitting in the Jacuzzi with a young blonde. She looked about half his age and her breasts looked more like a pair of cantaloupes sitting on her chest. I did my best not to stare as I was walking by. I was shocked that Brian would be seen with a gal that looked like she performed at the local strip club or starred in adult movies. I guess with all of his money, it still doesn’t make him a classy guy.